7.6.10

Here is a snip from my newest project, Cross the Line. It's a bit rough, so....


** SNIP **

8 comments

This is really, really well done. The description of the man (whoever he might be...) was just right. Love your writing style! :D

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I love the way you did first person. It was outward instead of inward and I really like that. Showing thought, but by telling what happened.

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Really great descriptions! I felt drawn in right away. And I'm curious what happened with the mother, if she's ever run off like that before or not... Great scene! :)

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The first person present tense felt really natural - and that usually throws me the first time I see it. I wonder where her mom went? And the new neighbor sounds like he'll be an intriguing character!

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I looooove 1st person present! My last two MSs have been written that way. It's puts you right in the action as it happens and I love that.

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Im a little confused with the switche between first person present tense and first person past tense, but then you said it's an early draft. Loved the teaser, nevertheless

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Cool. Time travel? Ghosts? Is she dead? I like the start.

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Ohh, I loved this. You kept me hooked throughout, and the descriptions are really well done :)

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