24.5.10

My muse is on vacation...

I CAN'T WRITE.

I don't know what is wrong with me, but I can't find inspiration anywhere. Music doesn't help. Spending time out with friends doesn't help. I have tried everything, but for some reason I just can't write.

So I have concluded that my muse is on vacation, and seriously guys, it sucks. Every writer probably goes through this once or twice or forty times in their writing career, but my goodness, how long is it supposed to last?!

For four weeks, I haven't been able to write. FOUR WEEKS. Every day that passes that I don't write, makes me feel so...down. If that is even the right word to describe it.

The root of my problem is that I have so many WIPs and I don't know which one to focus on. To make matters worse, each of my WIPs are a different genre. One is contemporary ( Lost & Found), another is an urban fantasy (Charmed), a dystopian (As the World Burns) and a science fiction novel (Stars That Fall)

Which one to pick?

Sometimes I wish I could just stick with one idea. Work on it without stopping, and without getting an SNI. Because even if I do try to ignore the shiny new idea, I always end up working on it, because I am not strong. I am weak, and easily persuaded by new characters, who are just so darn persuasive, and UGH.

If anybody has been in the same predicament as me, please, please, PLEASE tell me how you got out of it and what you did to get your muse back from the ridiculously long vacation it has been taking.

Oh and since it is Music Monday, here is the song that I have been addicted to for quite a long time now.

15.5.10

Update!

So, I have a confession to make. It explains why I haven't been blogging lately, but I have been doing a bit of traveling.

Not the usual get-in-the-car or hop-on-a-plane type of traveling, but the kind of traveling that can only done in a big blue box.

Yeah. You heard me right. I have been traveling in a blue box called the TARDIS, with a man I barely know, but he's just so fascinating and he takes me to different planets and we encounter so many different kind of aliens - and, um, I wish this could be my excuse for not blogging in a while.

But it's not.

The truth is that I've been watching Doctor Who, beta-reading, and doing ungodly amounts of homework. All year my teachers didn't give me any homework, now that we have less than two months left, they're piling work on us.

*grumbles*

I finished reading Vee's beautiful, heart-wrenching novel an hour or so ago, and I can't stop thinking about it. Her prose, her style is just brilliant. She's just brilliant and if you don't already know, her novel The Colors of Sky is out on submission. I wish her the best of luck, and CONGRATULATIONS.

Um, as for me, I have been thinking about reviving my contemporary novel, Mirror, Mirror. I don't want to give up on it, so I sat down and thought about what I could do to make this novel better, in a way, and I think I know how to do that now, so we'll see.

There might not be any teasers from me in a while, but I will try to read everyone's when Tuesday comes around.

Since it's Saturday, and I do want to make up for my absence on this blog, here is a snippet from the first draft of Mirror, Mirror. It's one of my favorite scenes between Low & Kendall, mainly because it's so tense, and a lot of things are revealed. Keep in mind that it's from the first draft, so it is pretty rough. Enjoy and have a wonderful day!

"You don't think I noticed?" Low breathed, his voice thick. "You were obsessed with Kip. Even when he hit you..." He shook his head again, not understanding, not believing.

"He never hit me," I murmured.

His voice was low, but I could still feel it's sharp edges. "Stop lying to yourself. I seen the bruises on your face, on your legs. I seen them. Kip may say that we are invisible, but those will never be invisible to me. They're all I see when I look at you."

"Get out." I said, firmly. Tears were forming in my eyes, threatening to fall.

"No."

I knew he wasn't going to leave so I didn't make him go. Seconds, minutes, a whole entire lifetime passed before the fire that was burning started to extinguish, leaving behind tiny, minuscule embers in it's wake.

"Pris is pregnant." We were lying down now, looking up at the ceiling. I tried to keep myself from touching him, but I could feel my body slowly sticking to his. We were like magnetic forces.

He was trying to hurt me.

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

I didn't want to ask. "Who's the father?"

"You know who it is."

In spite of myself, I rest my head on Low's shoulder and he smoothed the hair on my head.

"Why didn't he love me as much as he loved Pris?"

"Because Kip is a blind man. He doesn't know what he's missing, until it's gone."

The tears started to fall.

"I still want to run away with you. I want to take you someplace where you don't have to remember."

"It's not easy to forget," I breathed.
4.5.10

Being Beautiful

I always wanted to be beautiful.

I always wanted to be a size eight.

I always wanted to have perfect skin.

I always wanted to turn heads, to have boys notice me, and to be like so many of the popular girls in my school. Skinny, perfect. Beautiful.

Everyone has their own definition of beautiful.

Nowadays, beauty is when you have long hair and perfectly clear, light skin. Beauty is when you have straight teeth and skinny forms.

No matter how much I want to fit everyone's definition of beauty, I don't. I'm not perfect. I'm not skinny. Therefore, I'm not beautiful.

I felt that way for years, and it only got worse, as I became a teenager. Right now, I'm at a point in my life where I'm not worried about what others think of me. I just smile and make the best of things, even though I'm not a size two or drop-dead gorgeous.

I will admit that I cry a lot, because I can't be the kind of girl people think is attractive. And there was a time when I wanted to change myself because of how people used to make me feel, but then I realized something rather important.

Changing to please someone else is never good.

I have to want to change for myself, and for myself only.

I have to learn to embrace all my flaws, even though it's easier said than done.

I have to appreciate what God has given me, and try to see the beauty within. Because we are all beautiful people. We prove that in the way that we act, and in the words that we speak.

To me, beauty isn't about how you look on the outside, it's how you look on the inside. Because physical beauty will diminish with time. No one is perfect.

So, really, the definition of beauty that everyone seems to share nowadays is flawed.

All that really matters is how much you love yourself, and if you think you are beautiful, then you are. Don't let anyone tell you differently.



(This post was inspired by Kristin Otts. You should go read it, and join the movement.)

Teaser Tuesday

This is from As the World Burns. I'm starting two new projects, so I might have something new to post next week.

I was leaning up against a tree, counting lightning bugs, when I felt another presence. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

"What you did back there was very brave." My muscles relaxed, when I realized that it was just the Ranger.

Just a Ranger, I thought. Rangers were dangerous people. They were trained to kill, trained to show no mercy. I should be scared of him. I should be terrified, but I wasn't.

I turned to meet his dark gaze.

"I did what I had to do," I said, not knowing what else to say. The truth seemed like the easiest answer, because it was true. I did need to do this. Seth was my best friend, and I would get shot a million times to save his life, and to save mine. It wasn't courage that led me to stand in between the mouth of the gun and Seth, it was selfishness. I was only thinking of myself and how I would feel if my best friend was no longer in this world, if he was lying on the ground with blood spilling out of him. I had seen too much death and blood for one night, so if he was going to die, so was I.

But the point of it all, was this. I didn't die. Instead, I was standing here conversing with the Ranger who saved my life.

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Why did I do what?"

"Why did you stand between me and the line of fire? Your partner was going to kill us, so why didn't you let him?"

I expected for the Ranger to shrug, to not answer me at all, but I should have known that this boy was different. In fact, I did know. It was just too hard to believe, that someone with this job, a job that required for one to kill, to destroy, to show no mercy - could be real, human.
3.5.10

In Which I Talk About Doctor Who

The first episode of Doctor Who that I ever watched and loved was Blink. I was just skipping through the channels and I saw that DW was on and so I decided to watch it, and I was immediately blown away by the Weeping Angels and David Tennant portrayed a very lovable character.

Sadly, I wasn't able to watch any more episodes after that because once school starts, I really don't have time to watch TV, either because I have so much homework or I'm just so tired, that watching TV is the last thing on my list.

But a lot of people on AW rave about Doctor Who, so I knew that I had to try to watch the show to see what all the craze was about. So, I watched the final two episodes of Doctor Who with David Tennant and was severely confused.

The confusion didn't last long because not too long after those last two episodes, the new season of Doctor Who with a brand new Doctor began, and I finally got around to watching it last night.

I watched all three episodes in one sitting. Of course, I had to go to sleep, but I woke up extra early so that I could finish watching it before I went off to school.

All day my head has been in the clouds. I mean, I can't stop thinking about that show. It's just really THAT awesome.

I was a bit freaked out about the giant-eye spaceship thingy in the first episode, but then there's the TARDIS (which I really want to travel in. Amy is so lucky!) and Smilers and the UK is floating on a FREAKING STAR WHALE and then there's that CRACK. If you watch the show, you know which crack I'm talking about.

It's been in every episode so far, and I keep wondering at what it means, because it's EVERYWHERE. I really can't wait to figure out what it is.

So, in case you haven't figured it out, I am in love with Doctor Who. Not just the show, but it's characters. Especially the Doctor himself. Because I didn't watch the David Tennant Doctor, I have to say that Matt Smith is a really really really good Doctor. He's funny, charming, brilliant, amazing and he's gorgeous. *sighs dreamily*

I know I'm not a full-fledged fan yet, but I certainly feel that DW is going to be how I spend my Saturdays.

Ooh and let's not forget Amy Pond. I love how Doctor meets her as a little girl at first, gets in the TARDIS and comes back when she's all grown up. I love how kick-ass she is, and how fierce she is. It's about time we see a good strong female character.

I could go on and on and on about how much I am liking Doctor Who, but I will stop here because I have homework to do and I want to write.
2.5.10

Big Spring Giveaway!

Steph Su is throwing yet another great giveaway in celebration of Spring. There are a lot of awesome books up for grabs so get over there and enter NOW:

Clicky.