A Young Writer's Blog
This is really, really well done. The description of the man (whoever he might be...) was just right. Love your writing style! :D
I love the way you did first person. It was outward instead of inward and I really like that. Showing thought, but by telling what happened.
Really great descriptions! I felt drawn in right away. And I'm curious what happened with the mother, if she's ever run off like that before or not... Great scene! :)
The first person present tense felt really natural - and that usually throws me the first time I see it. I wonder where her mom went? And the new neighbor sounds like he'll be an intriguing character!
I looooove 1st person present! My last two MSs have been written that way. It's puts you right in the action as it happens and I love that.
Im a little confused with the switche between first person present tense and first person past tense, but then you said it's an early draft. Loved the teaser, nevertheless
Cool. Time travel? Ghosts? Is she dead? I like the start.
Ohh, I loved this. You kept me hooked throughout, and the descriptions are really well done :)