17.8.10

realizing your writerly dreams

It has always been my dream to see one of my books on shelves for everyone to read, not because I want to be famous, but because I am a storyteller and I believe that stories are meant to be shared with the world.

But everyday I don't write, everyday I fall out-of-love with my WIP, is another uncertainty to add to the list.

Am I a good writer?

Am I cut out for the business?

Is this really what I want?

Because writing doesn't get easier just because you have an agent.

I need to know that I am ready for this, before I start jumping on the query-bandwagon.


Maybe in the next couple of years or so, I will have grown as a writer, I will be more committed than I am now, but if there is anything that I have learned it's this: There is no hurry.

Sure it would be nice to have an agent. Sure it would be nice to put I am repped by.... on the top of my blog, sure it would be nice to write a blog post about HOW I GOT MY AGENT. Man, I'm telling you, if that happens sometime in my life, then I will be the happiest person alive, but I am still young. I have my whole life ahead of me, and I can't stress myself out just because I am not agented or published or whatever.

I obviously still have a lot to learn and I know this. That is why I'm going to put my dream on hold, because dreaming is useless, if you're going in blind.

Meaning, I want to learn a little more about the publishing world, before I decide HEY I WANT TO QUERY and HEY I WANT AN AGENT and HEY I WANT TO BE A FULL-TIME WRITER.

Plus, I need to be willing to work hard. To stay committed, to NOT GIVE UP, because I am telling you nine times out of ten, I am more likely to trunk a project than to keep working on it unless people yell and scream at me to keep trying.

I also noticed that people who have critique groups and support from friends and family are less likely to give up, and they don't suffer from TSS. (This Sucks Syndrome)

I have a lot of lovely lovely online writerly friends, but in real life my family doesn't support my writing, my mom doesn't really take my writing seriously, my friends don't like to read so they really don't care for writing, and sometimes it gets really hard not being able to talk about characters and plot holes with people, and other things that us writers talk about.

Knowledge, support, commitment. All of these things play a HUGE part in realizing your dream, and achieving it.

It's after one o'clock in the morning and I should be sleep, but this was one of things on my mind.

So... thoughts?

4 comments:

  1. If you truly want to give up, then that's your choice.

    Let me tell you a story...

    It's about a girl who dreamed she could write a book. Well, she did. And another. And another. Although agents didn't like these books, and even though This Girl wanted to give up, she never stopped.

    This Girl has been doing the same thing for two years now. Every day she questions whether God has a plan for her in the writing world. Every day she asks Him to please show her a sign. And every day she gets support from her online writing friends.

    In real life, however, her immediate family doesn't ask how her writing is going (and they live with her). The only time writing is brought up is if This Girl brings it up, and then the subject is usually changed. Real life friends have all but moved on because they don't understand the writing obsession. They don't understand how much it means to This Girl.

    This Girl stands back and watches everyone around her become agented. She watches fellow writers strike book deals she only dreams of. Yet she still keeps writing.

    This Girl realizes that no matter what, she always has her characters. They believe in her to tell their story and she must believe in herself to tell it.

    So, my friend, if you don't think you can continue on right now, then don't. But if, in your heart, you can't think about anything else--if you eat, sleep and breathe writing--then I'm going to disagree that you stop. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Um, Becca, you just made me cry!

    But I don't think I'm at the point where I want to give up, because I love writing, and if I stopped writing, it would feel like a MAJOR part of me was missing.

    Plus, my every waking moment is spent thinking about plot holes and characters arcs, so... I agree with you that, I can't give up, if this is something that I love to do.

    I guess I just need to believe in myself a little more.

    Thanks. : )

    ReplyDelete
  3. *passes Kleenex*

    :D

    I'm glad you won't quit just yet. I think you should definitely stick with it. I've seen your work and YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Just think of all the lives you'll touch with your words. That's my motivation. :))

    ReplyDelete
  4. The phrase 'putting my dream on hold' twists my stomach in the worst way.

    I don't really agree because I honestly think you are a great writer. But, it doesn't matter whether I agree or not.

    So what if there's more to learn? That's the problem with everybody even agented or published authors. It's just that they became that way by sticking with the difficulty of thinking their work sucks or knowing that it doesn't get easier.

    *huggles*

    I just wish you the best of luck...whatever you decide. :)

    ReplyDelete