12.7.10

This blog feels so empty.

Wasn't going to blog, but I feel guilty so here goes a tease from the fantasy novel that has been plaguing my mind.

It's an experiment so YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

***

The village was lit up like the night sky, lights twinkling, putting the stars to shame. An assembly of colors danced across Sera's vision, as she sipped her cup of tea. It's sweet taste wasn't enough to calm the butterflies that gnawed at her insides.

Sirens wailed in the distance, signaling not only the end of the war, but the approach of the entire army. She could see the soldiers marching towards the gates of the kingdom, their torches raised high in victory.

Though it was hard to tell how many there were, she wouldn't have been surprised if all of the men who went out to war had come back, alive.

"They're in good hands," she thought, sure that the mug would shatter into a million pieces underneath her fingertips. Her grip had tightened, and all the hope she had felt for the soldiers, had been abandoned, because if her brother wasn't amongst them, then there was no reason to be happy.

Sera still couldn't get over the fact that the king picked a seventeen year old to command an entire army, but he had, which brought both grief and pride to Sera's family. Grief because they didn't know if Nevir was going to return home or if he was going to be seriously injured. Pride because it wasn't a secret that he was the finest fighter in the kingdom. Not only could he wield a sword, but he had the ability to predict his opponent's next move, even before they got a chance to strike.

Sera was certain that no man could bring down her brother. Even the king - who atoned for his short stature with thick bands of muscle that wrapped around his arms, and legs - was no match for him.

Taking another sip of her tea, she tried her best to keep thinking he is alive, he is alive, he is alive, not wanting to accept the possibility that he might be dead.

11 comments

Eeek, tense scene! You can definitely empathize with her nervousness...

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I can feel her nerves at her brother's absense. Nice tease! Keep up with this one...please?

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Loved how you presented your character's nervousness. Your experiment seems to be yielding very good results ;)

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This is good! Definitely keep experimenting with it. It's a really cool idea - and I hope her brother is alive!

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Ooo a 17 year old leading an army. I'm intrigued. Love the descriptions too. :)

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Ahem hem... I remember reading most of this is SYW :D. Still love it, because it's still an awesome idea and you are brill! <3

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I remember reading the beginning of this on Friday Night Writes... or Midday Writes... or something, and loving it, so I'm really glad I got to read the rest of the scene! The tension and imagery are great throughout, and I'm shocked that this is really your first stab at fantasy. I want to know what happens!! haha

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*huggles everyone*

I'm so glad you guys didn't think it sucked. I will continue with this, so I'll keep you guys updated. : )

Thanks for the comments guys. They made my day.

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Your descriptions are gorgeous, and I could totally empathize with your character at the end. Nice work!

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Nevir sounds like such an amazing hero! I hope he's alive. Or maybe he'll only be presumed dead? I just hope we'll get to see him! lol...

But this was an amazing opening! You really got across the sisterly love she feels for Nevir. I'm intrigued and I want to read more!

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Basically, I want to read this. I'm intrigued :D

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