26.4.10

Teaser Tuesday On a Non-Tuesday

I am posting my teaser a bit early because I don't know if I'll be able to post anything tomorrow, since I'll be in school. But this is from my dystopian novel, which is almost at 4k. *squees*

I'm still working out a bit of the world-building and taking a lot of notes, but I'm just letting the characters take over for now, just to see where they're going to take me and I have a feeling that I might actually finish this WIP.

NOTE: This is very rough, so beware. Oh, and it contains some bad language. o.O


"Been drinking again, Mr. Gaston?"

"It's none of your business what I do in my own home," Abel growled, taking another step forward. A bottle fell from his hand, and crashed to the ground, shattering into a million pieces. "This, however, is my business. I am the one who makes the decisions around here."

"I understand that you were chosen to handle the village's affairs, but in your current state you can not lead these people." Mr. Hairston took his gaze off of Abel and looked into the eyes of all us. "I, however, am sober enough to think rationally."

"Rationally my ass," Abel slurred. "You expect us to go to a country that will spit at our feet, and put their noses up at us." He threw his head back and laughed. It was a cool and bitter sound. "And you call yourself thinking rationally? You bastard, your rational thinking will get us killed!"

Just then, a tall slender woman came up to stand beside Mr. Hairston. She had long, flowing black hair and deep, tan skin. Kara, I think her name was.

"Either way we will be killed." She looked towards Bertha. "Would you rather die like this, like an animal or would you rather die showing that son-of-a..."

Her words were swallowed whole by gunshots. We were all too wrapped up in the events of tonight, that we didn't hear the two Rangers approaching us, armed and ready to fire.

I could see them now. One had a torch in their hands, and was swinging it wildly, while the other one had a gun.

Everyone had stopped talking by now. Inch by inch, people started to slowly move back, until the Ranger with the gun, sent another round into the air, and yelled for everyone to stop moving.

"You know the rules!" he shouted, his face glistening with sweat.

"But..." I heard someone say, but they stopped talking, as soon as the Rangers moved closer.

"This woman is a fine example of what will happen when you good-for-nothings break the rules." This time it was the one with the torch speaking. His voice was less harsh, as if he didn't really mean what he said.

The other Ranger nodded in agreement, his eyes burning. "Yeah, you'd think you all would learn from the bitch's mistakes, but here you all are."

Seth growled, and I looked up at him, only to find that his eyes were as fiery as the torch. He was staring at the Rangers, ignoring the fact they could kill him in one breath, ignoring the fact that they would have a good night's rest after they killed him, and I wouldn't. I would go to bed, only to wake up screaming from a vicious nightmare, that he wouldn't be able to save me from, because he would be dead. I didn't say all this though. I just squeezed his hand a little tighter.

"Don't," I said, and then his eyes were on me, burning holes through my face.

"They have no right to talk to us like that. To talk about her like that."

"I know, I know."

He shook his head. "No, you don't."

"Okay, maybe I don't. But I know what it feels like to lose someone. What you're feeling now, is what I felt like when my father died. I wanted to hurt somebody, but I stayed calm because I knew I had a family I needed to take care of. Other people who needed me. Seth..." I felt his fingers leave mine, but before I could grab a hold of them again, he was moving towards the body, and kneeling down beside it. His sand colored hair fell into his eyes, as he reached for her hand. He didn't care that he was getting blood on his pants, on his skin. He didn't care that everyone was probably staring at him like he had just lost his mind.

"Boy, get back to where you were. Now!"

"I have a right to pray," Seth said, firmly. "So let me pray."

This made the Ranger very angry. I watched as his features caught on fire. In the seconds it took for him to raise the gun, I didn't think, I just moved. I didn't care if I got shot. I didn't care about anything at that moment, except for Seth. So I positioned myself directly in front of him, because if I was going to lose him, I was going to lose myself as well.


14 comments:

  1. Great tease, though I'm a little confused about the body, as I don't read about anyone getting shot or anything like that. But it's still in its early stages, so great!

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  2. ooh what a cliffhanger ending! Great tease :)

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  3. great teaser! i love dystopians and i'm glad everything's working out for you!

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  4. Ah, that last line just kills me. Great tease!

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  5. This is an amazing piece of work! So very convincing.

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  6. WOOHOOO 4k!! *dances*

    I love this! I'm with Glen, though; I didn't know somebody got shot. But I like how tense this scene was. You definitely left us hanging! <3

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  7. Ahhhhhhhhh where's the rest??? Such a cliff hanger! LOL Great job!

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  8. Creepy. I get a weird Jonestown vibe from this piece!

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  9. Liked the ending. I want to know what happens next.

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  10. Thanks for all the lovely comments guys! They make me feel even happier about this WIP.

    As for the body, well it was talked about in my last teaser, which I took down yesterday, because it already had been up for about a week.

    But the story opens with the villagers finding a dead body - Bertha Flemming the town's madwoman and this puts everyone on edge.

    But I'm so glad yall enjoyed this! Even though it's really really rough. <3

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  11. Dun dun dunnnn... Awesome tease, makes me want to keep going! :D

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  12. Great beginning. Can't wait to see what happens next. :)

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