30.3.10

Teaser Tuesday

I haven't done a teaser Tuesday in what seems like forever, and I have been writing, but everything I have written so far sucks. Every time I read over it, I don't know, I cringe.

But I keep having dreams about people living underground, and toxic waste, and adventures into the unknown. Dreams that I can't stop thinking about, even when I wake up.

Krista has decided to write a dystopian and she has persuaded me to give writing mine a try. I don't know anything about dystopian. I have read the Uglies series (would be considered dystopian or utopian?) The Giver, parts of Gathering Blue, and most recently The Hunger Games, but that's it. So please bare with me as you read this attempt of my first dystopian novel called As the World Burns.

I wake up to screams. Loud, blood-curdling screams that rattle my bones. It takes me a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but soon I am able to make out the sleeping bags that are gathered around me. All of them are empty. Usually, I am able to hear when someone wakes up, but this time, I slept soundly. There were no nightmares about death or dying. It was just me and an endless twilight.

I pulled my arms out from under the covers, and shivered. The air was surprisingly cold. It made me want to wrap up in all the sleeping bags and go back to sleep for another hour, another day. But I had my early morning chores to do, and whoever was screaming wasn't going to stop long enough for me to get some more rest.

Reaching up, I grabbed a hold of the lantern, and took the cap off. A bright light filled the room, spraying the walls a faint orange. None of the other lanterns were in the room I noticed, as I scrambled to my feet. They were gone just like the other girls who slept in this room with me.

This was strange. I was the early riser in the group. Everyone else cried and moaned when the waking bell rang, and for some reason it didn't ring this morning. If it had, I didn't hear it. Which didn't make sense because the the waking bell was impossible to drown out. Just like these screams, they were loud and obnoxious and went on for what seemed like forever.

I moved over towards the table, where a basin filled with water was left, and set the lantern down beside it. Pushing up the sleeves of my pajama shirt, I dipped one of my fingers in. The water was still warm, which meant that it was heated up not too long ago. I was washing the sleep out of my eyes, when I realized what was going on. Today was the day. I don't how I could have forgotten about it, because everyone has been talking about it for days.

Celia was giving birth.

This wasn't the first time a girl in Under had a baby, but it was the first time in a long time that the baby made it through the nine months.

12 comments:

  1. Oh wow, I liked this a lot. There was a lot of intensity and undercurrents going on in this one short little piece.

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  2. Oooohh... Psshh i don't know what you're talking about this snippet is made of win.

    And i already like your MC :D

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  3. Dystopians, ftw! That's what my WIP is. :D

    I loved this. It reads pretty dark, too. Don't know if you meant for it to be that way. I'm definitely curious. <3

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  4. Definitely interested in what's going on, especially with the baby and why others haven't gotten to full term. You do slip tenses a bit, but that's nothing that can't be fixed in revisions. Great job! I think you should continue following your friends advice. :)

    And I'm giving away free books over at my blog if you wanna check it out!

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  5. Oh, hush...you never write anything cringe-worthy! This was great...great, dark tone. I'm definitely intrigued and would keep reading! :D

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  6. I am really loving dystopian novels! And your beginning is awesome! It reads dark and gritty and very interesting.

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  7. Oooh, very cool. It introduces a lot in a very short space of time. Good job!

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  8. This is so dark and intriguing. Completely made of awesome.

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  9. This is dark...I love it! Sets up nicely and makes me want more.

    More pwease?
    No. Really.
    Please? :D

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  10. Cringe-worthy? When?
    Lovely tease. Very dark indeed. I want to know more about this story

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  11. Ooh, I want to know what happens next. What's going on in Under?

    I have to agree with Glen. Cringe-worthy? Are you kidding me? This was great!!

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  12. I def. think you are on the right track here! Keep it coming! And that Krista is usually right! ;) LOL

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