RTW: The girl I want to be...

Road Trip Wednesday is a blog carnival hosted by the lovely ladies over at YA HIGHWAY.

In honor of the release of Kirsten Hubbard's debut novel, Like Mandarin, Wednesday's prompt was to finish this sentence:

I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO BE...

I would give anything to be THAT girl. You know, the one that turns heads, the who has a lot of friends and has a hot boyfriend.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but high school is hell on steroids.

It eats girls like me alive.

I never was popular. I never was a toothpick, either. I was the girl who read entirely too much, and in elementary school I got bullied when I didn't hand over my spelling test.

It makes me sick just thinking about it but...things got better in middle school.

A little.

I mean, there were still popular kids, and the worst of them were girls. They all thought they were better than girls like me, and at the time I thought they were... I mean, they were pretty and smart and good at sports. I, on the other hand, wasn't pretty and though I had a group of people that liked me, I still felt like I didn't belong.

A part of me felt like it was my fault that I didn't fit in and I still feel that way now, in high school.

It's hard.

It's really hard and sometimes I wonder if high school would be any better if I was pretty and popular.

I don't know. I just want to be...I would do ANYTHING to be the girl I see in the mirror every morning, only more confident and brave.

Maybe I don't turn heads and maybe I don't have a boyfriend, but I know that high school isn't forever.

The world is bigger and the people aren't as small- minded as most of the people I go to school with.

I don't want to be anybody else. I shouldn't have to be, but at the end of the day, I would give anything to be the girl who can love herself no matter what anyone else thinks.

I'll be that girl one day.

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